Your loved one’s diagnosis of MS has happened to both of you. It affects both of your lives and the way you view your lives together now and in the future. Everyone is different – the needs you and your loved one have may be very different from what we needed, but here’s my very personal view.
Five things I wanted (and still want):
1. Acceptance. I wanted to know I was still loved in spite of my imperfect health and an uncertain future. If you married, it was for better or worse, richer or poorer and in sickness or health. Tell her you meant it then and you mean it now. Tell her you love her and you are by her side. I really needed the reassurance that I wouldn’t be abandoned because of the diagnosis or when things got difficult. If it’s hard for you to say it out loud, realize it would be more difficult for her not to hear it.
2. An interest in learning about MS. Being informed together makes you twice as strong. I appreciate it when my husband goes to doctors’ appointments with me.
3. I wanted to be asked “How can I help you?”
4. If fatigue becomes an issue, I want people to recognize that fatigue is not laziness. If a task becomes difficult, understand that I wish I could do more.
5. When I’m sad, I want to be held, kissed on the forehead and told that I’m loved.
What would you add to this list?